Come on now, you know I’m {mostly} kidding.

I tried to find a picture of a mom holding a baby and a martini and a cigarette but I guess they only have expert level parenting pictures in places I’m not looking for them.

Ah well.

That being said, I welcome all your Cancer stories in the comments. Speaking of cancer, if you haven’t yet read The Fault in Our Stars you can wish you had and check out some amazing nail art inspired by the book.

My mother and my grandmother spoke fondly of their experiences taking diet pills when they were young and married and had to be able to fit into all those “structured at the top, poofy at the bottom” Mad Men dresses from the first few seasons. I would love to have been able to wear those.

So I guess what I really wish was still in fashion was speed. My house would look great, I’d be thin as a rail, and I’d be supermom. I know they say dear Betty on the Mad Men used Weight Watchers but if you saw their success rates…well..between you, me, and the gum tree… that era was the era of skinny women who used to be fat women on speed and booze, smoking like their lives depended on it and lord did they party.

At least my family did.

Cheers, speed-prescribed-as-diet-pills, I never knew you but I wish I had.

Disclaimer: The ignorance of how amazingly unhealthy all the things mentioned in this post are is PART AND PARCEL of why I wish it was back in fashion. Feel free to comment with your cancer stories, your rehab stories, or your gun accident stories and I’ll totally publish them, but really, I know. I promise. One day I’ll tell you the story of the doctor that did prescribe speed to me as a way to lose weight and how much of a BEAST it made me. It’s just a fantasy as much as wishing Madonna’s cone-boob bra was back in style. 


Axis of Ineptitude

Looking for the whole list of prompts? They are in text form and image so you can Come Play In May!