I have been on a six month saga to get my daughter into a preschool.

The local programs are state funded by this really cool preschool for all grant. The thing is, there are risk factors. If there is low competition for spots, financial risk can get you in. It makes sense, because a child that grows up in a financially unstable is at higher risk for mental illness, among other things.

We are actually very lucky, because only having financial instability (without other risk factors) and being hyper-aware that can be a problem, I make it a point not to stress out around my kids or get them stressed out or tell them they’re poor or make them feel like they can’t have something because it’s too expensive.

I might not be able to enroll her in dance class right now, but I can make certain I’m not complaining about not being able to in front of her. It’s the little things.

Come talk to me in twenty years, though, because who knows where my butterfly wing best intentions will be then. Of course if I can just make sure she has a good head for business she can be a drug lord. That would be something, and maybe I could help her with her offshore accounts. Family bonding time and whatnot.

But there were fifty kids trying to get into 25 spots in this school. If they’re all poor (or if more than 25 are) then they have to look for additional risk factors. Namely, they give the kids a test and you have to score low but not too low. Things are weighted based on factors I couldn’t figure out and I got a lovely letter in the mail.

Thank you for your participation in the recent preschool screening at The School. Multiple areas of development are assessed during the screening: speech and language, cognitive skills, fine and gross motor skills, and social skills. At-risk factors are also considered in determining eligibility for the preschool program.

We are happy to share that your child’s performance indicates that development in all areas is appropriate for your child’s age group at this time. For that reason, your child does not meet the criteria for our program. 

They were ever-so-kind and enclosed a preschool directory for my convenience in finding a program that was not funded by a grant for children who need a little extra help.

I have to tell you, however, the letter I wrote was a stunner.

Which makes me pause and really wonder how many children are under-performing for age level (I know, math whizzes, at least 25). I was sure that based on the criteria my daughter would get in.

Don’t think I’m being totally ungrateful, here. I’m happy my daughter is doing well for her age. In fact, I specifically asked if being gifted could be considered a developmental risk and they said it was not under the terms of the grant. I understood and I swear I was totally super polite through the whole thing. I could only do what I could do, which is my best to make sure I’ve covered all the bases I can.

I looked at some websites from the local preschools and, unfortunately, they’re all just too expensive.

I still have my fabulous workbook I purchased from good old Amazon.com and will go through it with her when her sisters are in school. I also have this old copy of My Baby Can Read that I can play for her. If they’re going to leave her with me, I’m going to do my best to educate her at home.

Maybe it was because I mentioned in the letter that our situation is only temporary. Of course, no one wants to read about a chronically impoverished family that doesn’t ever make steps to improve. It’s imperative if you want people to be understanding and not judgmental to learn to put yourself forward as someone who is only temporarily displaced from the middle class.

Even before Mr. Brickie changed careers and we had no hope in hell of being able to better our life circumstances I found something to cling to so when I needed help I sounded like someone that was going to be on the upswing soon.

I probably sounded like a con artist.

Or maybe I’ve never been quite as bad off as I’ve thought.

An interesting conundrum. I guess it all depends on who you compare yourself to. Who do you compare yourself to?

My two older kids are going into second and third grade.

They were both in accelerated math last year so when they were in first grade and second grade they were doing second and third grade math. Now that they’re going into second and third grade, they will be doing third and fourth grade math.

I could calculate statistical data to six sigma without breaking a sweat, but saying that sentence up there out loud breaks my brain.

I pretty much took an hour figuring out what kind of workbooks the kids needed. First I had to figure out what grade level was “review” – was it the actual grades they were in, or would it be the grades they were working on? Last year, they both had a pull-out math class twice a week for an hour. This year both of them will have the advanced math class instead of the current math class.

So I decided I needed to make sure their skills were solid in what they were working on last year because they’re working on the next level of math next year and I don’t want them to fall behind or struggle with previous concepts they may not have encountered yet considering they only did it twice a week last year.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me but this all seems a bit complicated. I do have a tendency to over-complicate things, though, so there’s that.

More than anything I just don’t want them dropped from the track they’re on. Public school kids are tracked from very early on, and I’ve been very aware – and completely paranoid – about this since before any of the kids stepped foot in a school. I kind of just assumed the kids would be in that middle track where they didn’t go into advanced classes or remedial classes. I pictured them skating through and getting by. It was kind of my dream, because anything else comes with drama that y’all know I’m not a fan of.

So the first place I started when looking for workbooks were a couple of the homeschooler’s favorites: Saxon Math and Singapore Math. Well, let me tell you, those are all well out of my price range. I get angry when I see a 40 page workbook at Target for $8. I huff, and I puff and I exclaim, “I could do it cheaper!”

Of course I never do, but just the fact that I could do it keeps me from spending that kind of money on a slim workbook.

Then I had (thank goodness, I was getting desperate) an epiphany about how to search for workbooks. Instead of searching for a brand of workbook that was applauded and praised by all the big thinkers and the homeschoolers and the academics and the people with wicked-high standards, I just searched for “2nd grade workbook” and “3rd grade workbook” and found a bunch of results.

My 8yo has been having a sketchy time with math and both girls could use a refresher with money, so I got all fancy and searched Amazon for a time workbook. I got this 352 page bad boy that covered both time and money for ten bucks. I was like, “This is my workbook Nirvana.” and kept on adding things to my cart.

I have a workbook for the preschooler (because she hates being left out) a printing/handwriting practice book for my 7yo, a cursive book for my 8yo, math books for both girls and a bonus word problems for grades 3-4 workbook because at these prices why not.

A total of 8 workbooks for $40 and of course free Amazon Prime shipping. I’ll have them in two days and will be happily passing out daywork to my girls so they can earn their screen/electronics time instead of just going between playing with ponies and playing with electronics.

Of course the ultimate bonus for me isn’t something for them to do, it’s knowing they will be prepared when school starts. My deepest fear is they will hit the Math Wall of Death™ where they think their smarts have run out and they just give up on math. One way to keep them from hitting that wall is keeping them prepared and well-schooled in the basics they need to know.

You know, giving them a foundation to build on and whatnot.

Oh, another thing about tracking of public school students….supposedly the Common Core standards coming into play in public schools are supposed to raise the bar for all the kids and, thus, there will be no more tracking. This is not what I am referring to. When I’m talking about the “track” my kids are on, I’m talking about what will eventually be the High School Honors track. I am loathe to call them gifted because it’s just the next grade level of math, they’re not Doogie Howser or anything.

But I am kind of a fanatic about math, because I didn’t discover I had a natural affinity for math until I was about 36 years old. I had always been told our family was not good at math, and I believed them. Obviously I want something different for my girls.

Any suggestions on how to keep kids engaged and learning during the summer? How do you do it?

Maybe I want too much.

Maybe I’m greedy.

Maybe nothing is ever good enough for me.

Whether or not any of those things apply, I have a problem with the way Universal Class is being run. I’m currently in three classes:

• Tarot Cards 101 (Why not?)
• Meditation 101: Learn How to Meditate (I’m a stressed, edgy lady. Grrr.)
• Creative Writing Workshop (I figure I can’t afford the thousands of dollars to go to Hedgebrook yet, so…I did this. It made sense at the time.)

My library subscribes to the Universal Class service and so the classes are available under that subscription. If you wanted an unlimited yearly membership and your library isn’t subscribed it’s $189. Classes are mostly taken at your own pace and there are 13 lessons per class. I was able to get through five lessons in one class in one day. So in 15 days I could get through three classes. Two classes a month, 24 classes per year….I could see you getting a lot of knowledge for $189. It’s a good deal, overall, if you’re going to learn something.

The next classes I take – if I take more classes – will be more tangible, like a math class where opinion-based assignment feedback is less necessary. Right now, I’m in classes where it’s all creative writing, opinion, and essays and I’m getting perfect scores and no feedback.

I know, who whines about perfect scores and no feedback, right? But you see where I”m coming from, don’t you? It feels like someone is just phoning it in to get paid, rather than helping a girl learn something. I mean, if I’d paid for these classes I would be angry. That makes me wonder…if I paid for the classes and wasn’t part of a library subscription, would I be getting feedback then? Is it because the instructors know my classes are free?

Or is it just that there is no feedback to give? Is it that good? I mean, I’ve got an ego on me and everything but not even I think I’m going to be perfect with no opinion in three classes. I don’t care that I’m usually a straight-A student anyway even in brick and mortar schools. Maybe that is the point and I’m missing something.

See, I could spend all day speculating and it’s going to do me about zero good. Really, it’s my own fault. I could email any one of the instructors and ask them why I’m not getting feedback, or ask a question, or start a dialogue. I don’t. I have nothing to say, so why should they?

I have started something and I’m going to see it through to the end, because I’m tired of being a quitter. I want to be  a person who sees things through. The problem is, I don’t quit things because I’m lazy, I quit them because they’re crap. Try to tell me that when I’m up feeling awful about myself and my quittin’ ways at 3am, however, and I will explain (in the very best overtired-crazy-logic way) why I am an awful person who quits everything and has no stomach for seeing anything through.

So, basically, these classes don’t bother me unless I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about them. Then they become a very real, very big problem in my life.

I can be so silly sometimes.

When I take my next round of classes, I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, if you’d like to follow Universal Class on Facebook and check out some class intro videos, they’re pretty interesting.

After various incidents in the school I am thinking that my lovely 2nd grader is not getting the attention, help, or support she needs in school.

She is not special needs (except being in the gifted math program at school – if that even qualifies) and she does not have a disability. She does not stick out like a sore thumb and she is not loud or rambunctious.

Doesn’t it sound like she would be a perfect candidate for a public school? I thought so, too.

But she’s really not. She is getting in trouble for things she learns on the bus, for example. “That’s why I’m not friends with mean black girls like you.” is what I heard from the vice-principal of her school today. Sure, she was being teased by multiple children but her remark brought it all down on her head. I’m fine with that. In the real world, if you go too far it doesn’t matter why – you went too damn far. Also, like I told the (very kind, knowledgeable, and intelligent) vice principal, there is NOTHING that has EVER happened in my home that would cause that statement to come out of my daughter’s mouth. Ever. Not once. It’s not part of who any of us are here.

Trust me, I’ve tried to figure this out. There was an incident earlier this year when I remarked that a black man on the television was handsome and she replied, “I would never date a black boy.”

My grandmother hated redheads. I do not know why. No one in the family shared her aversion but we all tried not to be around her when Conan came on because she would yell at the television. (This was before she had dementia, mind you. It was rough.)

My daughter is an emotional creature. She would cry for days if someone was moving or was sad when she was in Kindergarden. In first grade she got a little better, but the crying still happened. Now, in second grade, I see the tears she’s been holding all day come out when she gets off the bus in the afternoon.

They are tears of anger. Anger at not being allowed to fight back. Anger at being taunted for being called “baby” and “slow” that she is not allowed to make stop because the teacher says she does not like tattle-tales. Anger she cannot resolve because she is not allowed to raise her hand when they are in line. Anger at being small and ineffectual and unable to fight back in a meaningful, appropriate way.

It’s breaking my heart.

My first choice would be to get her off the bus where most of this takes place, but we have one car until we can afford another car. That will be a few months in the future at the very best. I may be able to drive my husband to work and then drive the children to work, but I won’t know if that is an option for a few more weeks.

Even if I can drive her to school, what about her anger? What about her inability to get help from a grownup?

I understand as an adult that her problems are small. Miniscule, really. But I also remember how big things felt when I was her age and feel that by leaving her there I am forcing her to be pressed down into a mold she just doesn’t fit into properly. She does not feel good about going to school but is excited about homework while at home. She is attentive and loves to learn.

I fear that leaving her in this situation is keeping her from learning because emotionally she is focused on other things.

She loves her gifted math class, called challenge math, and is excelling at math a grade level above her own while still completing her second grade math during normal math times and through her normal math homework.

I really think I could swing this homeschooling thing.

It would take sacrifice on my part, but isn’t that what parenting is about? Doing what’s best for your child even if it inconveniences you? Isn’t it my duty as a parent to make sure she is set up for academic success? What good is socializing in a public school atmosphere when she is learning black from white and that she is a slow baby and a crybaby? These are not things she should be learning if I want her to grow into a strong woman. These are things that make her believe she is less than and different in a bad way.

Maybe I could do better.

I think it’s time to seriously consider homeschooling as a valid option for my daughter’s education. My middle daughter seems to be thriving in the school environment, so I’d only be doing this with the oldest unless I needed to change that up for some reason.

Do you know anyone who has one homeschooled child and one that attends a local public school? How’s that working out for you/them?

What do you think?

This week the Spring school semester began.

I’m taking six online classes.

At first I thought, “This is going to be so easy! My school calendar is synced to my iPhone, I have the iStudiez Pro app, and my school is signed up for access to the Blackboard Mobile app. Wherever I am, I can post to discussion boards or otherwise keep up with my classes!”

Of course, with a tool like Blackboard, the class is only as organized as the teacher who builds the class. A late syllabus will not come any faster via excellent connectivity if the teacher has not uploaded it. So I’m refreshing my app and not a whole lot is happening and I’m wondering if this is a taste of things to come in the next 15 weeks.

My class lineup is interesting. In order to facilitate a faster graduation time I’ve transferred and changed my major to Interdisciplinary Studies. I should be done by August. So there is a required Interdisciplinary Studies class as well as two music classes (yes, I’ve been avoiding the arts like the plague) and other classes I’ll talk about when something fun or interesting comes up.

Tactile Information and Transport

I checked in on the first day of classes and printed everything available. Yes, I could just look at the assignments in Word, but I’m a note-taker. Keeping the notes on the pages is important to me. I keep those notes in tabbed manilla folders. On the folders I write down important dates for easy reference. If other notes need to go in the file, I put them on post-it notes on the inside cover of the folder.

If you are able to track everything on something like EverNote or some Borg app you’re rocking on your Mac, well, then you are cooler/younger/better than I am. I’m fine with that, I have other fabulous qualities. You know, like my ability to drink copious quantities of wine. It’s a skill, people.

Seriously, the other reason I like having it all on paper is for throwing stuff in a bag and huffing my butt to the library for some child-free study time. Sure, I could hope it’s all on my computer, or I could copy and paste it all into Google Docs, but what if I get to the computer and seven hundred things happen that mean I’m down to just my paperwork and myself. I’m going to want those folders. (Basically, I get really nervous if I don’t have something to hold on to. I’m a dinosaur like that.)

A Special Place for Books

You can’t just chuck your books anywhere or you’ll lose them. Of course that’s assuming you’re able to lose textbooks. I am. It’s happened with books so big they had to resize themselves in order to hide so completely. Once, I found a textbook in the kids’ bookshelf in their room. Really? You wanted to learn about Finite Math? Sure you did. Book stealing little monsters trying to outwit me!

Probably not, but you never know. Kids get that knowing look and  you know they’re planning something straight up evil. What? I’m paranoid? Maybe.

My books live in a special place to the right of my desk. I can swirl my office chair to the right, lean over, and swipe the book I need. As you can see, I have a few oversized, paperback books (My Favorite Kind!! *yeahright*) but I hate those books a lot less after I figured out you can pop them into a magazine holder and be done with it.

Books 0 – Me 1

The Plan (As It Stands Right Now)

My plan is to check everything on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I’ll concentrate on homework from two classes on each of these days. With the two music classes, I’m going to break those up and marry them to an English class (I’m taking two of those, too). Then, on Fridays I’ll focus on the other two classes.

If there is a change to the syllabus, I can just shift what classes get taken care of on what days.

The Bottom Line

I’ve never had problems with online classes, but the more of them you take in any given semester the more important it is to have a plan. Sure, I could wing it and would probably do alright. I don’t know if the school I’m going to has a curve, but even without one, standards are pretty low.

Don’t get me wrong, students aren’t stupider than they were when I was young and stupid. They have more of a special snowflake (def. 2) issue than students did when I was in school, but they aren’t dumb. That being said, I do think teachers are lazier. Or more burned out. Or high. *shrug*

Are you an adult learner (or not) taking online classes? What are some of your tips and tricks?