I have the theme song for The Neverending Story stuck in my head now.

Mortgage Guy™ emailed today and those two pesky accounts are still listing Mr. Brickie as an authorized user even though I took him off those accounts at the end of August.

In case I haven’t said, Mortgage Guy™ said that the letters the companies gave me stating he had been removed were not good enough because “things can be altered” so we had to wait for them to not show up on the credit report anymore.

Now I’m over here and I know beyond knowing that I was removed as someone’s authorized user when I was 15 and that card STILL showed on my credit report when I was 21 and so I never thought it was possible all these cards would somehow magically disappear from his report.

I have probably also mentioned that the amount it would cost to pay off the two cards in question is the same amount we have in the bank right now set aside for closing. We only have enough to close or pay off the cards, not both.

Today, though, he’s saying we just have to pay off the smaller of the two cards and now my ears perk up because yes that sounds like something we might be able to do. I email back and verify we might be able to do that fairly soon because he’s coming back into town and it sounds like he’s going to start working right away as long as it’s really just the one card we need to pay off.

He says it will take too long to pay it off and wait for the credit report to update so we can pay it off at closing and now I’m like WHAT?! we never knew that was an option or this could have been done a month ago. Now I email him back and I’m like, “Hey there, so we just need to have $9700 in cash for closing then or whatever $8k + that one card’s balance equal? Okay then, I’ll talk to Mr. Brickie when he gets out of meetings tonight and we will see if we can find a way to make that happen and I’ll let you know how soon it will be.”

He just emailed back that my math is correct and now I have to somehow come up with $9700 to close on this place.

Right now, in all accounts including THE CHILDREN’S accounts because I’m trash and will borrow money from my children. (Hey, they live here too and I will pay them back. You haven’t seen a refractory paycheck yet I don’t think. Yeah, we can pay them back right quick.)

Checking: $6795.94
Kids’ Savings: $1142.35

So we’ve been floating with $7938.29 (I just paid the NIPSCO bill so that’s why there’s a hair less than $8k) and now we have to make $9700 happen. (Technically that card has a balance of $1871.56 so we actually have to prove we have $9871.56 to close.)

I may tear all the hairs out of my head in ten seconds.

If we can get him back on a night shift he’ll make a hair more than that in a week for take home but that doesn’t include paying bills.

I really want to walk away but I don’t think that’s the right choice. If we couldn’t afford the place I would walk away and not feel an ounce of pain over it, really, I am over having some deep desire to own a house and I am totally over giving a shit what anyone thinks of my rent/own situation in life. I don’t need to own a house to feel fulfilled or secure.

But we’re here and the price is right and we can afford it fairly easily once we get past the closing stuff and I have given it to the universe and the mortgage company haven’t pulled out of the deal so I guess we’re staying. We just have to find two thousand dollars. Or conjure it. Or borrow it.

I’ll talk to Mr. Brickie once he’s done today and figure out our next steps.

My hair tearing moment has passed. It’s only a house. This is only a process. None of it means anything in the long run. We will either close or we won’t. We will come up with the money or we won’t. Either way is fine and in ten years we’ll look back and know in our hearts whichever way it went was really for the best because that’s what humans do and I am deeply and totally human.

No matter what my kids might tell you.