The fear is constant.

It’s not a big feeling. Not like hearing your doorknob rattle in the middle of the night no matter how old you are and no matter how many times it happens and no matter how much your brain really knows it’s one of the kids trying to get in because they had a nightmare. My lizard brain always knows for sure that whatever is on the other side of the door is going to kill me. Which makes getting out of bed to help the poor half-asleep child open the door and carry them to the bed one hell of a moment of cognitive dissidence.

It’s a little feeling. Little like the feeling of someone breathing on your arm. Which, if you have someone who manages to breathe on your arm – making your little arm hairs sway just a little every time – starts to drive you insane after a while. I will occasionally find myself covering my arm protectively and snapping, “Stop. Breathing. On. My. Arm. You are driving me insane!”

Of course he responds in the only way I would expect. He looks at me like I’m insane. Who yells about breathing and arm hairs? That’s right. Me.

He’s so lucky.

Job Update Finally My Goodness That Took Forever

Mr. Brickie is at the job today.

Let’s all take a deep breath and have a moment.


*rapture collapse*

I told you about needing paystubs right? How we have to be able to prove income with paystubs in order to move? If things got really sketchy we could also do a letter from a friend or other professional person saaaaaying how much we had made working for them during the course of the year but the woman we really want to be our landlady? Yeah, Mr. Brickie talked to her when he thought he’d be back working in a minute. When our timeline was longer and the house we bought for a steal at $125,000 wasn’t sold for $35,000 last week.

Isn’t it amazing and wonderful and horrifying how fast things can change?

So we can’t go back to this landlady with a different story without looking shady as hell and no one rents to people who seem shady as hell. I haven’t looked on Craigslist to see if the four bedroom is still available. If it was it would still be two weeks until I could apply to rent the property so it wouldn’t make me feel better. I’m going to wait and when he has a second paystub we are going to call the nice lady and tell her we have paystubs and an application and we would love to move thank you so very much.

He will get his second paycheck on November 12th. I’m not sure if we’re still aiming for a December 1st move date.

Court Update

The same paperwork that let us know how much the house sold for at auction (and convinced us this is the only way to buy a house ever from now on) let us know our next court date is 12/30/14. It’s the date where the court finalizes the sale of the house to the investor. The one that starts our last 30-day “time to move now right now” alarm clock ticking. It’s possible if Mr. Brickie goes into the court he can get that date extended a month to 2/28/14 but here’s the catch….

Paystubs for renting a house must be the last two most recent.

So we could decide we weren’t moving until the last possible minute but if weather stopped cooperating and Mr. Brickie was out of work for two weeks due to a blizzard we wouldn’t be able to move.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? No way, not going to happen. This paystub thing is going to be a problem ONCE. That’s it.

Our proposed moving date is still December 1st, but it might be earlier. It depends on the deal and the potential landlord/lady, and everything else. Each deal is unique and even though I will sigh wistfully over four bedrooms I’m not married to a house I’ve never stepped in.

I just wish I could give my daughters each a bedroom. It seems it would be an amazing way to take the sting out of having to leave everything familiar. Having one’s own room would be such an upgrade, wouldn’t it?

But even if we have to move somewhere cramped and small for a year, that’s okay.

Changing Web Hosting When I Figure Out How to Not Be Stupid

I’m going to switch to A Simple Orange but I’m trying to figure out the actual switching. I keep reading about ftp and blah blah and I used to be able to work with files but I’m not in that place right now. The breathing on my skin that is the thoughts in my head won’t let me focus like that. I try, trust me, I try and fail many times a day. I get mad and tell myself I WILL get this or that done. I cajole, order, make promises…I’m more stubborn than even I thought.

What I really want to do is just start the new blog and rename this one temporarily so the other one can have the blog name and backdate old entries into the new blog with this name. It seems like it would create a very clean database with no extraneous media or other things and bits that it could live without forever.

A Different Kind of Job Update

A family friend talked to someone at her job who is a bricklayer. He’s a specific kind called a refractory worker. They travel a lot and work a lot.

Today’s downtown job started first so that’s what’s happening now, but Mr. Brickie is still giving the guy a call that the refractory friend of a friend told Mr. Brickie to call for a lead on a job. No one in this house would love it if Mr. Brickie traveled but we are all very good at sucking it up and moving forward. We will give him all the love and support and Skype calls he needs to feel we haven’t forgotten him and we miss him terribly.

That is in the future, however, no need to borrow trouble. A quick story about borrowing trouble would be good here. The way the information was conveyed to us this guy our family friend knows just came back from Williston, ND (the oil boom town) and he was talking about ten guys to a single-wide trailer and other horror stories of the need for workers and the lack of space.

First, HOW have I not heard about this place prior to this?? I read news sites in addition to blogs and games. Lots of them. More than anything else. News is my bread and butter. It is what gets me through the day. Boom town? Nowhere on my radar.

So this whole refractory thing? It’s more of a long term goal after his apprenticeship is over. He is going to ask them if he can work weekends for them in the meantime. It probably won’t happen but they’ll be amazed he asked and that will help them remember him. To get your 80% raise and your 100% raise you have to pass a bricklaying test. If he just went and did refractory work he wouldn’t be learning the skills he needs to pass those tests and become a journeyman.

But we aren’t saying, “No.” for sure and forever to anything. One of the most important things about this part of the journey is being flexible.

Like olympic gymnast flexible.

I am – mostly sometimes every-third-wednesday – up for the challenge!

6 Comments on Cautiously Hopeful (peeking out from under my bed)

  1. Hang in there Jen! Nothing lasts forever, good or bad. It will all work out and the bad times make the good ones so much better. I am here if you need me. 🙂

  2. A few years back there used to be a lot of refractory work in the Gary area (not sure about now, been away from information on the industry for several years). His Field Rep should be able to put him in touch with local(ish) refractory jobs going on. It’s really hard work and is taxing on your health. BUT, there is typically really good money in refractory work. It’s a trade-off.

  3. Just wanted to pop in and say how HAPPY I am that your court date isn’t until the end of the year. Whew! We were in DuPage county and our court date was just two weeks after the sale of the house. So, so glad you guys got some breathing room to find a new place, and even happier to hear of Mr. Brickie’s new job. 🙂

    I would do exactly what you’re doing — get those two pay stubs and then get the heck out of Dodge. Once all this worrying and stress about where you’ll go is behind you, it gets SO much easier.

    • Thank you so much. I was shocked when I saw the date. Happy shocked, of course. I’m thrilled about the new job because now he’s been there a day and they say the job will go through mid-January minimum. I just hope there are houses available for rent in the town we’re trying to end up in. The rental market can be so crazy-fickle. (As you well know.)

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