I knew we had an appointment in Chancery court on July 11th. I knew we did.

Sort of.

We’ve had previous appointments with the court and they always sent us something in the mail. Mr. Brickie, after the last court date, said, “I’ll just show up at the date they say to. Just in case.”

I am the one who told him to wait for the papers to come in the mail.

I am the one who flicked the first domino and chose this path.

I am the only one to blame.

Chancery court is so far behind in cases (I said) and you shouldn’t have to take a day off work (a day you’re working overtime, I said) to go to a court date that might not even be yours (I said) and get sent home with no pay for the day and no information (the way they do, I said) even if I want just one. more. stay. before they decide forevermore they are going to sell our home at auction (because one more stay would have guaranteed one more full school year, I said) because they have been so good about informing us of our next court date (I cooed into his ear before we slept at night) and he believed me.

I am so rarely wrong, you see. I do my research and I find out the facts and I don’t share untested theories as fact and I don’t rely on “I hope so” and “It’s probably okay” so he had no reason not to believe me.

Really, everyone believes me. I’m a very believable person. I’m right with astonishing accuracy because I hate being wrong. I do not accept mistakes as a natural outcome of the law of numbers. I am better than that (I said) and we will persevere and get through this (I said).

I was mistaken.

I was not just a little bit mistaken. I did not tell my husband to take an umbrella with him on a sunny day. I was mistaken about something wicked important. Our house (which is no longer our house) that I have the papers stating and have to tell Mr. Brickie about when he gets home from work today (his last day as a 40% apprentice.)

The Reality of the Situation

According to the first lawyer we ever talked to (the lovely, young lawyer who paled and stuttered when I asked, “Out of everyone you’ve ever talked to, has it ever been a wise financial decision to fight for the home?”) who told us our time frame from this moment or, rather, the moment from July 11th when the clock (the foreclosure auction sheriff-at-the-front-door clock) starts ticking like something out of only the largest, scariest MC Escher painting.  We have – about – nine months from July 11th to get out of our home. We might have a little extra time but the real clock – the big  TIME TO START OVER Y’ALL clock is now ticking for real and we are no longer living in a state of flux. Or, as I liked to call it, “Our state of grace.”

In nine months(ish) we are going to give birth to a new life. I have a feeling it’s going to physically hurt less than childbirth and emotionally tear my brain in half. Maybe I’m overreacting and it will be an easy move. We’ve been decluttering for a year here and there and plans are in place for what will come with and what will go in storage and lists are made. So the focus of the blog will change slightly and we’ll be talking about getting ready to move.

Same family stories, just stories about a family transitioning to a new place, probably a new school system, and all the things surrounding the move and the finances getting us there.

Even when you prepare for all outcomes (and yes, I mean all outcomes, you should see my charts) it doesn’t make getting hit in the gut any less breathtaking. You can know in your head you’re making the best possible financial decision and feel with every feel in you that you’ve lost this round of the game of life.

My breath is taken.



4 Comments on Foreclosure, Reality, and Emotional Pain

  1. Oh my friend, I am so sorry. You know I can relate. *hugs* If there’s an online site for your county that lists upcoming foreclosure auctions, I would start checking it daily. It takes away some of the uncertainty to know FOR SURE when you end up on the list, and what your auction date is. We showed up on our county’s list on June 6th with an auction date of August 12. It’s July 16, and we still haven’t gotten an official notice from the bank. (However, we HAVE gotten some spam mail from lawyers that mention the auction date, and an appraiser for the VA contacted us to do an appraisal of the house. We’re letting him come by on July 30, the day before we leave this place for good.)

    Nothing can prepare you for how it feels once it happens, even with tons of preparation beforehand. It comes in waves for me; I do okay, then I break down and cry. At least you have a place in mind to move to, which is VERY helpful. We were caught way off guard, and our backup option fell through so we had no safety net, which scared the crap out of me. It felt so good once we got a house lined up!

    Even though I love our Little House in the Sorta-Big Woods ;-), it’s so small and I’m grieving for all the space we’re leaving in this house. It will be an adjustment going from 1600 sq ft to 850 (although my house before this one was 625 sq ft, so there’s that). When I start to get panicky about the fact that there’s one real closet in the whole house, no medicine cabinet even — I remember what it felt like to have NO PLACE TO LIVE OMG. And I thank heaven that we found this place, small though it may be.

    My big fear right now is whether we can fit all this stuff in three Relocubes, which is how we’re moving (it’s all we can afford). Dave swears we can; I quote stories that say people who move overestimate by HALF what will fit in the truck/cube. I think we’ll be leaving more behind than he realizes.

    Don’t beat yourself up about the court date — I would have assumed the SAME thing. It seems like Illinois is suddenly getting all hardcore about kicking people out of their houses, which sucks.

    Sending you every hug possible!!

    • Thank you for the hugs, they’re super appreciated and always welcome 🙂

      I don’t know what Relocubes are but you know I’m going to google the heck out of that once I submit this reply. I’ve never heard of them and I am intrigued. I was wondering how you were going to get adult-level posessions to another state. Even if I end up the next state over it’s only 20 minutes-ish from my house which makes a move by U-haual with multiple trips way easy.

      Could you take a few trips beforehand and move some things into a storage space? We were looking into that as an option as well.

      Oh girl, 850 square feet? You’re going to have to do some creative stuff with that to make it work for you. Oh, oh, maybe you can visit that site for apartment people in new york or wherever…what’s that site called…Ah ha! they have cute ideas for things like storage and stuff.

      We got a bunch of mail while we were still trying to save the house but haven’t gotten any in a while. I’m guessing the flood will begin again soon. If I thought the extra effort of doing a deed-in-leiu or a short sale would be worth it I totally would but it would just shave off what little time we have left here.

      Thank you for letting me know you would have thought the same thing about the court date. I’m trying not to beat myself up over it, but you know how it is, you think you have it under control and then you find yourself sitting on the edge of your bed sobbing and don’t quite know how you got there!

      I think at some point we’ll get a 30 day notice. I have to do more research about what happens after the auction because the only other option I’ve seen is a 7 day notice and I would really love to NOT end up in a hotel no matter how much I think i could spin it to the kids as a vacation.

      Thank you for being here with me on this journey. You make me feel so much less alone. 🙂

      • I am LOLing here — I have been on apartmenttherapy every day! 😉 So far we’ve made two trips to the house (it’s ours — as of July 1st) with stuff in a car (not ours…ours was in the shop for the last two weeks…we just got it back, after paying $2,300). On Monday we’re renting a cargo van to take a bunch of stuff — we have to be there to wait for the Comcast guy to do something to start up our internet. We figure anything that doesn’t fit in the Relocubes (and is important enough to still move) can go in another cargo van trip. And there’s the final, actual trip there in our car, but our back seat will be filled with kitties. 🙂 We’ll just have the trunk and the floor of the back seat of our Hyundai Sonata.

        Luckily we have an entire (dry) basement where we can store things, so it’s like another 850 sq ft of space…just not what they consider to be ‘livable’ space. I told Dave we need to learn parkour so we can bounce off the walls and onto our bed, since our bedroom is about the size of a walk-in closet. haha

        I’m fairly sure they have to give you a 30 day notice after the auction, so if you know the auction date, you can figure 30 days after that as the ‘absolute last day’ in the house. I think. 😉

        We can do this! I strongly feel we’ll both come out of this dark period into a bright field of sunshine. <3

        • We really are on the same wavelength! I’m glad to hear you’ve got basement access for some of your things. If you do learn parkour or just try to bounce off the wall onto your bed, PLEASE get it on video because really things like that are better when they’re shared. Unless someone breaks something, then destroy the evidence! LOL

          There’s also that whole Tiny House movement happening right now. You are on the cutting edge of trends with a small house. is another site I was looking at just thinking WTF mostly but then I saw some cute space-saving ideas. I’d never be able to live in a 3m cube, though, that’s just nutty.

          I’ll keep checking the auction sites and will probably spend tomorrow researching that 30 day thing. I just … today I paid bills and had dinner with my cousin and tried to relax. I don’t want to get too far down the rabbit hole with this and drive myself crazy. How many kitties do you have? If you told me, I totally forgot because I’m an awful friend.

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