When I skip a few days of blogging I think – at first – I’ll get right back to it.
Then things happen I can’t blog about and I think, “How did I ever blog about my life? This stuff can’t be shared!”
All of a sudden it’s been weeks and I vacillate between not being a blogger and diving in and blogging. What tipped me over the edge to be here? Shelley and Evin, of course. They just keep going and sharing and I’m impressed by their tenacity. Unless you’re just taking glossy pictures of your kids and talking about them all the time blogging is difficult. You have to find an angle that people might want to read without sounding completely self-obsessed. You never really know if you are achieving your goal. For all I know I sound completely self-obsessed all the time and not posting pictures and stories about my children all the time might make me seem less “a person who cares about privacy” and more “pretending I don’t even have kids because it’s all about me” … time will tell.
I thought a fun way to catch you all up was to take the June Blogging Challenge and do all the prompts up to today. So one-shot responses to 13 prompts. Sounds fun to me, I hope it’s not boring as hell.
I am having a rough month. Even though I am mostly accepting of our lifestyle right now and pleased with Mr. Brickie working side jobs that are enough to cover the bills while we wait some more, I have moments of deep unrest. My soul feels like it’s trying to stay very still so it doesn’t freak out all over the place. I’m not sure how a soul can feel that way, but the feeling itself lives deeper down than where my heart is. Close enough, I think.
I have gone back to writing down my five things to be thankful for every day. I highly recommend Grace In Small Things. Even when I slack off and don’t write them down, my history of acknowledging small things helps me coast and find perspective even during dark times and deep unrest.
Sticks and Stones
No one calls me names to my face. I don’t know if it’s because I’m constantly trying to walk fast and enjoy using my body, but I never get smack talk for being fat, which I read about online all the time. So much online hate for so many things. So many unhappy, sad people who need to lash out at those they perceive as weak. It’s a shame. People need to hug each other more.
One of my daughters came into the living room the other day to ask for something. She was wearing a tank top and shorts. I couldn’t breathe because I saw her and her teenage self at the same time. I saw how amazing she is going to look and felt how beautiful her soul was going to be and it took me ten minutes to explain why I wasn’t crying because she asked me for lemonade. My oldness and momness sometimes confuses my children.
So…there’s this new show in the “Housewives” reality trash series. It’s called Ladies of London. It’s on Bravo. I love reality television. I know it’s not real, I do not judge the participants because we all have bills to pay and doing that kind of thing is worth it for some people. I’m still the woman who turned down being on an episode of A Baby Story on TLC back when it was just baby stories with a twist (I’m with a widower, that was my twist) not the health-issues-for-everyone show it turned into. I’m so glad it wasn’t like that when I was pregnant. It would have been too much for my hormones to bear.
We went to a wedding on Saturday and when Mr. Brickie went to pick up the kids on Sunday I was alone for a few hours. It was bliss. I could use a little more alone time in my life and need to find a way to schedule that in.
Jessica said on Facebook she didn’t understand why people complained about teen girls so much because hers was nice to spend time with and so were her daughter’s friends. I’m paraphrasing that horribly, that’s why it doesn’t have quotes. I really and truly hope with all my heart I can have that relationship with my daughters when they are teens. It’s looking good so far, but I have to keep my eye on the prize.
I don’t care how old I am, I’m still gonna…
Jump barefoot in puddles and dance in the rain.
Before and After
I have worked for a long time. Since I was 14 and got that little yellow work permit card signed by the local fast food place. Going to full time at 16. I’ve always worked. Now I’m a housewife. I’m still getting used to it. I have been writing more and occasionally go full-pretentious and call myself an artist. For now, though, I have to tell myself I’m a housewife that writes or I’ll get obsessive and then overwhelmed and then I will quit. Again. So I’m a housewife and I love it. I’m so housewife I’m cooking dinner in the crock pot.
Moments of Genius Success
My biggest genius success moment was finding The Orange Rhino. Not yelling has made me like myself more than any other thing I have done to make myself a more awesome person.
Well THAT freaked me the f*** out (I went to a wedding at a church edition)
Someone unknowingly flashed the church with the tops of her black lace thigh highs at the wedding on Saturday. I was completely freaked and couldn’t tell the person because we’re just not close like that so I actually prayed for her in the church right there that it wouldn’t happen again. It did not, as far as I know, and I was thankful.
I was also freaked out when I realized the priest said the phrase “a man and a woman” so many times that if it was a drinking game we would all be dead.
I watch my husband grow into more of a father every day. It’s like a suit he grabbed and threw on with gusto and wore happily but is only now really starting to grow into fully. It’s amazing to watch.
My husband knows the right kind of rye bread for my peanut butter toast and only buys a different brand when the first choice is out of stock at the supermarket. My daughters always hug me goodnight and usually hug me good morning. Once in a while the middle sister offers to make me coffee in the morning.
Expectation vs. Reality
After my first two daughters were all potty trained and rocking the panties at 3-ish, I accepted I just was not going to be the mom who had kids who potty trained early. I accepted it and expected it would take my youngest until she was 3-ish as well. I figured we would use the same stickers and same potty seat and do the whole thing a third time around. She refused. Flat out refused. Changed her own pull-ups for a year. I tried to bribe, cajole, and occasionally shame her into panties. Didn’t work. So I said to heck with it and figured maybe we would skip kindergarten if we had to because it was not looking like she would be potty trained in time.
She decided last week she was done with pull ups and wanted to wear panties full time. Even overnight. She has had one barely-an-accident since then. She turns 5 at the end of September. So….reality was only a year or so off. (There are no words to express how happy I am about this.)