Having a partner that is great around the house is amazing.
The one thing about my partner is he works best when he has a project manager. Usually (okay, always) that task falls to me. The problem we are having is that parties make me extremely anxious and when I am freaking out I become a really awful project manager and leave him to his own devices.
Which means we end up with a few issues in the product.
The party is Saturday. We are totally pretending right now that Mr. Brickie isn’t going to have to work on Saturday because having to deal with one more thing in between now and Saturday will find me giving up on life and you won’t find me unless you look under my bed, where you’ll see me in a fetal position sobbing gently.
Yes, I may be exaggerating just a bit. I would have to sweep and mop under my bed before crawling into that dust-bunny jungle.
Last night, I reminded Mr. Brickie I needed a toilet paper holder because keeping it on the back of a toilet was pretty much one step above just throwing a Sears Catalog at you before you trekked out to the outhouse in back. I didn’t like it and it just feels unsanitary, you know? I had these freestanding toilet paper holders for a long time but they’re not as practical as you might think. Also, with a four year old in the house, being able to reach the toilet paper easily is kind of mission critical from her perspective.
His first go at the toilet paper roll was with one we “happened to have in the garage” and it was an in-the-wall model. We both forgot that we removed this exact one ten years ago because it was awful and badly placed. We also forgot it was badly placed because of a 2×4 that lives in that wall for some reason that makes it important not to demolish it to make room for the new toilet paper holder.
I do not have pictures of the hot mess that project became but I gotta tell you … I snapped.
I’ve been forgiving of my husband not texting me from when he says goodbye at 5:30 am to when he lets me know he’s on his way home from the union meeting at 8:45pm. I was fine with him dumping off gross dishes he didn’t rinse off. I smiled when I realized he didn’t pick up the right ingredients for the dinner recipes we planned together. But when I saw the toilet paper holder in the wall surrounded by these ugly wooden boards screwed in with these big, ugly screws?
I snapped like a Lifetime Movie.
He got mad and left to go shopping for a better solution. He promised he would fix everything. (That’s what he does. It’s sweet.) When he came back from the store I just went to bed because I didn’t want to deal with the middle parts and figured if I had to deal with any more big surprises it would be best to confront those on a good night’s sleep.
The picture above are the product of last night’s finishing touches and fixes.
Overall, I’m super pleased. I mean sure, I have no idea why there is a towel holder not lined up with anything and have to wonder where the other one is because we bought two of those back when we originally purchased them. But it’s up and functional, so that’s cool. The toilet paper roll is nice and the huge hole above it is all drywalled back up and repainted so it’s not obvious it was there last night.
The spots all over the wall are waiting to be sanded and painted when he gets home from training tonight.
Of course, the underlying problem with all of these problems that had to be fixed was my refusal to be project manager on the job. I made him do it all himself. He didn’t have a team, no one to bounce ideas off of, no one cheering him on and giving suggestions. I was unhelpful.
So the fact that it looks passable and by the end of tonight will look good? It’s kind of amazing.
I know I’m not the only woman in the world who changes the way things are normally done in my relationship and then says, “But he should just be able to do this for me. I mean, it’s not that hard.” when, in reality, changing something like that for a guy who is a creature of habit really does make it that difficult. I not only wanted him to do everything from soup to nuts, I wanted him to do it without support. You know, so I would feel supported and taken care of.
Taking away support to feel supported is probably one of the dumbest ideas I have ever had.
The reason I love my marriage is that the teamwork we have works. Taking it away, watching him fail, and then blaming him? It’s a dick move.
One I will try not to make in the future.
On the bright side when the party happens everyone will be able to use the infinitely awesome toilet paper holder when they use the bathroom. They will have a towel to dry their hands on when the wash them (hopefully) after using the bathroom. They won’t see the polka dots all over my wall.
Best of all? They wouldn’t have cared if I didn’t provide those things. These are just nice touches I want for them because they are awesome. Self-created drama. So silly. But at least now my girls will have a better bathroom experience every day and that’s wonderful, too.
So, in closing, this is another post about how I need to step it up as a wife. I’m so trapped in my own head still, even though I’m not straight up depressed anymore (though I am worried because Mr. Brickie should be getting the address of his job site today so he can start tomorrow) there is still a few more steps before I’m in a comfortable place.
In the meantime, I’m slogging through this swamp the best I can.