I’ve been asked why I blog many times.
Usually I kind of stare at the person and find some question to ask back really quickly so I don’t have to answer. It’s not a comfortable question. It doesn’t have a nice, knee-jerk answer like, “Fine” when someone asks how you are and you just kind of answer because you don’t want to tell them everything going on in your life because you don’t have the energy and you’re pretty sure they don’t want to hear all that mess, either.
Sometimes I answer, “Because.” I figure that one works with my kids once in a while so it might work with a well-conditioned adult, too.
I don’t remember anyone ever really pushing for an answer, and I guess I’m kind of glad I didn’t because the honest truth is not very pretty and it’s certainly not something awesome and upbeat like changing the world.
I blog because I feel utterly alone in the universe and this is a public scream I hope will be echoed and heard by other people like me. I blog because I desperately want to know there are other people out in the world who feel like I do, who live like I do, who make decisions like I do, that need hugs like I do.
People who experience humanity as a big and beautiful and complex arrangement of madness and color. That can see both sides of an issue and really see where everyone is coming from. People who started poor but are working toward a normal, basic standard of living. Or maybe someone who started well off and is now struggling. Or maybe someone who has always been financially stable but has issues in other parts of their life. I mean, it’s not about money or thoughts or intelligence. It’s about having a beaten-down heart that is still absolutely still full of the capacity for love.
Not people who have been through the exact same experiences, that would be boring! People who have beautiful, scarred hearts and callouses on their souls and have looked into the face of grief so big it could crush you or desire so strong it couldn’t be put into words and joy so big it could hug the world.
People who feel all alone sometimes, no matter how many people are in the room. People who are both extroverts and introverts and get tired of everyone labeling themselves so easily. People who maybe want labels but can never find the one that just fits, because if they could just find the right label maybe things would be easier.
I blog because I am sending a message. Life is messy. I am messy. I seek out other messy people who are doing their best to turn their mess into beauty.
So, whether I’m blogging about fitness, food, finances, family, relationships, marriage, or my chickens, it’s really all the same.
I’m doing my best to say, “Hello. Nice to meet you. Here is a story and I would love to hear yours, too.” In the hopes that we might become friends.