I went to the Urgent Care last week. I found out I have some kind of bronchitis/pneumonia thing.
The same thing I had when I went to the ER back in April. In the ER, the doctor offered me antibiotics but told me that they “may or may not help” because what I had “may or may not” be something that could be cured by antibiotics.
I said, “No, thank you.” I figured with how many times antibiotics are prescribed unnecessarily, I wasn’t going to be the fool who took them without needing them.
Now I feel quite stupid, because if I’d just taken them then, maybe I wouldn’t still be sick now.
I should have just accepted and taken the drugs.
Instead, I got five prescriptions last Tuesday and have spent the last week accepting that my mistake has cost me seven months of my life. Months where I told myself I was being lazy unnecessarily. Months where I told my husband I was just “not in the mood” to do dishes or sweep the floor. Months where the best moment of my life was bedtime so I could finally sleep.
Months feeling like the way I felt was normal.
It wasn’t normal. I was sick. Very sick.
The bright side to all of this, of course, was being able to hear from professionals that I’ve been sick all this time and it’s okay that I’ve felt this way and I’ll be better eventually because now I have antibiotics and other drugs. Things that will heal me. Things that will make me better.
Of course, going to the doctor wasn’t all ribbons and puppies. Those five prescriptions cost cash money and my husband has insurance now. That means no more medicaid. That means, instead of the state being kind enough to provide my sick body with necessary medications, I had to pay a copay. Since we have a PPO, that means I got to pay $95 we did not have for prescriptions.
Another stroke of luck was my husband calling our benefits department. They let him know that going to Walgreens for our ‘scripts was a no-go because they were out of network. We needed to go to Target or Walmart. That reminded me I had a Target credit card. So we put my ‘scripts on the Target credit card. In my “we don’t use credit cards” world, that is certainly not ideal, but I wasn’t going to wait days to be able to breathe again. Some things are more important than ideals…breathing is absolutely one of them.
A week later? I can breathe better than I’ve been able to in months. A glass of wine doesn’t make me need to reach for the Albuterol inhaler. (Yeah, that was particularly scary.) I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I may actually get back to a place I used to be at where I danced and did the dishes regularly.
That would be so nice.
In other financial news, we are coming into the time of year where my husband’s work becomes more dependent on the weather. It took him a long time to go from his first job in June to a company where he can know he’s a real and necessary part of the team. Really, if you look back, we’ve been on this journey from husband to turn into Mr. Brickie for over a year now. Then it was spotty work availability because Brickies in general haven’t had a year this bad since horses and buggies and black plague or some such craziness.
So we are still struggling. There are lots of mini family meetings to determine ways to increase income during this on-again, off-again time and then other plans for what to do when the “not working for a couple months because snow every day” time comes. There are so many plans. Planning for the unknown is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to do, but it’s worth it. When something happens, we have a response that can be put into play immediately.
It is very comforting. Also, very useful.
It keeps tensions down, too. We have contingency plans upon contingency plans. We have long term, medium term, and short term plans.
Above all, we have an end goal. The place we want to be when Mr. Brickie becomes a Journeyman. That’s the goal, here. Journeyman. When my husband makes more than twice what he does today. The time when we will have the same standard of living we do today but with a larger income so we can pay off student loan debt and put the kids in activities and do all the things I fantasize “normal” families doing.
The things every parent wants to give their kids. A full childhood. Full of love and experiences and lessons learned though practice and joy and teamwork.
In the meantime we are on a shoestring budget and trying to find ways to get through winter not on unemployment, but through work and profit and Craigslist ads for everything that’s not nailed down.
In addition, Mr. Brickie is doing his best to get noticed and known within the union structure itself. He wants to make sure he has opportunities beyond building walls … that’s the long game, here. He enjoys his job and gets a deep sense of satisfaction from what he does, but you can’t be out in five layers in Novemeber forever and he’s trying to see where he’s aiming beyond what he’s doing now.
He’s doing a great job.
Any suggestions on something I might be forgetting to plan for?