Just kidding – it lives under my pants, how could it make me look anything, really?

But since last night when I almost fell over in the bookstore, I decided it was time to bring in reinforcements for my poor ankle that does not seem to want to heal. I mean, it does when I’m in warm areas and don’t move or put any pressure on it – then it’s fine – so much so it’s easy to forget when I stand up that there’s a problem and it leaves me yelping before I think maybe public places are not yelp-appropriate.

So J and I went to Walgreen’s and hit up the “old people” aisle. The one we all know we’re going to do a LOT of shopping in the older we get. I don’t mean it in a derogatory way at all, but you generally don’t see a bunch of teens or 20-somethings hanging out in the cane and bedpan aisle all, “What’s up, dude? Where you been? Over by the cologne? That is SO last year, this year is shower seats and heating pads, yo!” Yeah, all the rage.

The problem is I have this huge instep. My foot is rounded on top. It’s not a pile of fat, but it has made shoe shopping kind of an abomination since I was old enough to realize there was a store full of shoes and about three pairs would fit me. That is some serious frustration.

So J suggested trying on the ankle braces. I was all, “Oh hey, this isn’t a shoe store!” and she was all, “You really want to buy them all and return the ones that don’t work JUST so you can try them on at home instead of in the aisle at Walgreen’s? What? Don’t want to be judged?” Which made me realize I was just being silly and the trying-on began.

Four ankle braces later and we put the one on I’m wearing now. It’s lightweight, easy to put on, fits into my shoe, and is black. All things that will help me mask it under my black pants, in my black shoes, over my black socks. It does have a little white tag on the front and I’ve been staring at my black Sharpie all morning wondering if it would look better if I colored the tag or cut it off.

I also (finally) bought new sneakers. I have a pair of amazing running shoes, but they adjust for my very slight pronation so they KILL to wear with the owie ankle. My regular walking shoes have insoles in them because I’ve had them for three years and wore them the heck out. This was before I was informed that you’re only supposed to wear sneakers about six months or 400 miles or something because they wear out – just like anything else you use almost every single day. (That was a serious “duh” moment on my part.) While I was at the store (It’s a store I hate more than anything but they have the best shoe selection for my awesome size 11 feet) I also ran across an adorable pair of black flats so had to pick them up, too. I don’t shoe shop often and if I told you how long ago I got my current pair (yes, that’s singular, did I mention I hate shoe shopping?) of black flats you’d probably cringe.

So now I’m the proud owner of two pairs of black flats (well one has a quarter-inch heel, but isn’t that splitting hairs?) and a new pair of gym shoes to walk from the train to work. Plus an ankle brace to help me get to work without crying, which will be a big plus this week.

Next post? The vitamins I bought. Oh yeah, I’m going to heal this ankle if it kills me. Oh, and Atkins. Yeah, the new one. It’s different than the old one, I promise.